Thoughts on Feeding

Now that I'm almost 4 months into this whole full-time mom thing, I finally feel ready to explain one aspect of my birth experience that no book, website, friend, etc talked about: Low milk production.

My simple advice on this: trust your instincts. People tell you this all the time...about all sorts of things....but I found it to be a really good measure of what was right for me during this time.

So from the time we got home with Xander, he was a cranky, crying baby. I had resigned myself to the fact that I had the infamous "colicy" baby. I remember waking up from naps during the day to find Simon downstairs with my  hair dryer creating white noise so that Xander would remain calm. (it worked like a charm).

Obviously this isn't Xander, but we did put him on top of the dryer once!

We went to our first lactation visit, and she told us we were doing great. She also told me to get some cabbage leaves at the house because my milk should be coming in any day now, and I should be prepared! So after a couple of days of NOT needing cabbage leaves, I began to wonder what was up. Then after over a week of no real "mustardy-seedy" poop from our lil man, I knew something wasn't right. My instincts said it was me since I'd not felt "full" ever. So we took him back to the doctor only to find he'd lost more than 10 percent of his birth weight....cause for concern!

The lactation consultant's solution for me was to nurse more, pump in between and take some herbs that make you smell like syrup. So, of course, I did that, which took up my entire life. By the time you're done nursing and pumping, it's time to start it all over again. I also heard/read all kinds of theories on other things I could do...from drinking beer to eating more fat. While those sound like fun in general, the thought of being drunk and fat wasn't really appealing...but of course I tried. Still nothing. So heaven forbid....we started supplementing, and wouldn't you know it...Xander wasn't colicy...he was HUNGRY. So after three months of constant nursing, pumping, crying and not sleeping, Xander is now a totally formula fed baby....and totally happy.

 

Does this look like an unhealthily/unhappy baby to you?

 

After visiting my general MD for my annual exam, we discovered I have low thyroid, for which I am now taking medication. Evidently only 4% of nursing moms have this, but it would have been nice if someone in the OB office or the pediatrician's office might have suggested I have this checked after every other attempt at getting more milk failed me.

And let me tell you....I got plenty of condemning looks/comments from people during this whole process....the kind of look/comment that says, "Oh, I'm not judging you, but clearly you're not trying hard enough." or "Oh my, you're giving your baby formula. I'm so sorry for your loss." Usually my response was simply, "I was a formula fed baby, as was my husband, and we were perfectly healthy babies. And no, we don't think our mothers hated us either." Sometimes I almost got to the point of whipping out educational degrees, salaries and SAT scores to prove to people that even in the 70s, formula was pretty darn effective. As one of my friends who went through a similar situation said, "It's formula people, not poison!"

I feel like the "pro-baby" movement kinda got in the way of me being able to find out other, physiological things that might be causing me to have low production. You have to do some very specific Google searching to find anything about low thyroid and milk production. While initially I was very excited and pleased when I heard about how "baby friendly" my hospital and OB practice was, I feel they let me down a bit. They seemed ready to do everything in their power to help me exclusively breastfeed for the first 12 months, and I was ready, so I thought, with loads of information on how to make this work...even after going back to work. Now I wish they would/could have shared a little more "just in case" type of information with us.

After sharing my experience with a couple of friends/coworkers, I have discovered that I am not the only one out there who struggled with finding new/other information about feeding. Several people have now told me that they went through the whole nursing, pumping, crying fiasco I went through only to never find an answer to their struggle and basically not sleep for several months of their child's life, which can't be good for anyone. Why does no one talk about this? Ladies, speak up....share your experiences. Don't be ashamed to say you had to give your baby formula even though you know "breast is best." Maybe your story can help someone like me not feel like an utter failure. I hope by me sharing this here, someone will feel better about her experience or perhaps share my experience with a woman she knows who is struggling.

Back to Work....13 weeks update

Well, I've got one week back at work under my belt, and I must admit....it wasn't that bad! We did two "test" days at daycare the week before last so I could ease myself into being away from XYZ. I'm usually a 'rip the Band Aid' off kind of gal, but for some reason, I was feeling kinda anxious about this one. So when the daycare director told me plenty of moms do a trial run the week before, I decided to take her up on the offer. The Wednesday before, I brought him in and sat with him in his room. I talked with his 'teacher' and just observed the way the room ran for an hour or so. Then the next day, Simon and I brought him in together and dropped him off. I ran across the street for a run at the gym when Simon when to work. Then I was able to go home and shower all by myself. It was totally weird to take a shower and not feel rushed or have one ear smashed against the glass wall. Of course when I went to pick him up 3 hours later.....he was napping. He didn't even notice I was gone!

And here is what I found when I went in to check on him over my lunch on his first day there full time: 

Again...he barely noticed I was even there to say hello! He did give me a smile, but he kept that bottle in his mouth the whole time!

I did remember to capture the morning too....here he is on his first morning getting ready to go to school:

So now Simon and I have to fight for snuggle time on the weekends. We did attempt a family picture recently...Lily took this for us:

Here are some shots from this past weekend....as you can see, he is as big as my torso now! I can only guess that he must weight 14+ pounds now! He really likes that dragon book. It's just big pictures of dragon faces with googly eyes. He smiles at them all.

And we had our regular, every third year or so snow this past weekend. This was an odd one in that it actually snowed during the day and stuck to the ground...for about 24 hours. Luckily, my friend Liz was in town, and she got to enjoy it with us:

We kept X inside since he can't really play in it anyway. We figured why expose him, right!

So.....so far, so good with being back at work and X being in school. As you can see below, he's already bringing art home for us! (I stole this and hung it in my cube at work...Simon can have the next one...maybe!)

4 Weeks Down

Well, I can hardly believe what I am typing....lil XYZ is 4 weeks old today. Was it really 4 whole weeks ago that I woke up and thought, "hmmm, did I just pee in my pjs?"

After watching the terrible news about what happened in Connecticut, I'm sure we're all hugging our babies a little tighter these days....and seriously considering home schooling even more than ever! (Wonder if I could get my sister's family to move to Charlotte for this....Kim, don't you want to hang with your two sisters EVERY DAY?)

Anywho....this is also my birthday weekend....and possibly the first birthday in 35 years where I haven't reminded people one month in advance that Dec. 16 is coming up! I suppose being totally consumed with another life will do that for you. I mean how could you think of your own birthday when this little guy is smiling at you?

 

 

The past 4 weeks have seen a lot of change already. XYZ is starting to get a little more regular...sleeping and pooing. Although once I think I have one sleep pattern figured out, he goes and changes it. Again, this whole 'child rearing' thing is definitely a team sport. The week had caught up with me yesterday, and by the time Simon was home from work, I was exhausted. Luckily, Simon is a champ, and I went to bed at 7 and got 7 whole hours of uninterrupted sleep.....CRAZY! I feel like a new woman this morning.

 

On a side note...I thought I'd share this hilarious photo of what our Sunday afternoons look like as I mention them often. We are hanging at the Erwin's house.....and no, that's not XYZ in my lap....he's been confiscated by his faux grandma. But I get my hair done by Lily, a warm lap from Charlene (the dog) and baby rearing lessons with the doll from Allie. Sundays are big days for the Zora family!

 

 

Those hips do lie, Shakira!

I guess you all have figured it out by now....Baby Z is here! And we can officially call him Baby XYZ!

Xander Yannick Zora
11:04p.m.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
8 pounds, 6 ounces

We'd been to the OB on Friday to have an ultrasound and check his estimated size. They took a look and guessed he was 9 lbs, 9 oz Friday. The doctor gave me the option for an induction or c-section Monday because he was pretty sure my pelvis would not be able to handle that without complications.

We opted for the c-section. I just had this feeling that my body wasn't even going to go into labor so the thought of sitting around on pitocin trying to make it happen didn't seem like a good idea. I hadn't even really had a Braxton Hicks contraction at this point, so I was convinced I'd be one of these 42 week preggo women. Well, was I wrong!

Saturday morning around 2:30 I woke up and realized my water had broken. I wasn't having any contractions. We called the doctor, who said come on in to the hospital. We arrived around 3:30, which was very nice. We got a good parking spot...no waiting in line to get checked in, etc.

By 4 a.m., my contractions had started on their own. They were totally manageable at this point, but I was in the bed. So I decided to get up and walk around, rock in the rocking chair, etc., thinking this would/could help me progress. Wrong again. All this did was make my contractions stop! While the relief from pain was nice, I knew that was not the direction I should be going in.

So around the middle of the day, we started pitocin. By 3 p.m. I was ready for the epidural. I had progressed about to the halfway mark, and the doctor was impressed. He even looked excited. By 9 p.m.-ish I was complete and ready to push. The doctor was pumped at this point. I guess he realized this could mean less work for him, right!?

So I pushed for a good hour and half, and then the doctor came back. He checked me, and his whole face changed. He said something to the effect of, "If you can get this head out, I'll deliver the rest of the baby." with a look on his face like "this ain't going to end well." So needless to say, in all that pushing, I'd moved Xander nowhere.

So Simon and I talked and decided it was best to go for the c-section anyway. I was exhausted....remember, I'd been up since 2:30 a.m. and it was not 10:30 p.m. with no real food too. I knew I'd only get worse at pushing as the night wore on.

The procedure was quick, and the whole team was great. Before I knew it, I was in the recovery room with Simon and Xander. He was perfect....even had a little cone head from trying to come out 'normally.' Though he was smaller than everyone guessed, he was 'sunny side up' as they call it. Doctor said this was probably one of the contributing factors to why I wasn't moving him with my pushing. Then he told me I have a 'narrow' pelvis. WHAT? I've been described as a lot of things, but narrow has not really been in my body-description vocabulary! All these years of joking about my birthing hips went to pot with this one baby! Shakira is evidently wrong....at least my hips do lie!

Oh well. What's important is that he is here, and we are both doing quite well.

Some photos from our adventure:

The sign outside our room:

Family Portrait:

 



One of his favorite places - the Moses basket:

Today is his official due date, and all is going well. We had a good night of sleeping, eating and pooping last night, so no complaints. His arrival a week early was certainly very convenient. We were able to celebrate Thanksgiving with family, and Simon got two free days off from work! Hopefully he'll continue being a very cooperative baby!

Nanny has been here all week and went home this morning, so today begins the real test for Simon and me.

I suppose I'm going to need to change the name of this blog.....any ideas?