We've got almost 7 weeks in daycare in the books now. X had "school pictures" the other week, and I can't lie - I'm kind of excited to see them! Of course, Simon asked, "Are we doing that?" To which I replied, "Of course we are." Now I didn't go out and buy him a special outfit or anything, but be sure....he did look cute!  We put this on him the other weekend, and we almost fell down laughing. Of course, this picture makes it look like his head is Photoshopped on, but how freaking cute is this?

Since being back at work, I've learned to almost appreciate the middle of the night feedings....almost! It's our sweet time alone to snuggle. I mean, look at this face! I sometimes just hold him a little extra before putting him back in the crib so I can stare at him. (Don't worry....we're planning to stop the night feeding soon....like maybe even this weekend kind of soon!)

I must share- there are some perks to daycare (other than the obvious "I get to go to work and earn some moo-lah" perks) that I did not think about. These daycare ladies are professionals (I realize that I should hope they are professional, but you get what I'm saying/writing here, right?)! I walked in to pick him up one day, and he was hanging out in an exersaucer....as if he owned the thing! Simon and I have an exersaucer at home, but we had been too afraid to try it out. Um, he LOVES it! (though in this photo he looks less than amused, I promise, he likes it)

Below is a shot my sister took of us one random Sunday afternoon in late February....but I show it as a prequel to the session we had with my friend Annie this past weekend. She's the one who did our maternity shots, so we thought it only appropriate she do some baby/family shots too.

And one final, fun shot of lil man as he and I were on a lunch date with our friends one day. That's the same hat he wore home from the hospital!

 

He's getting to be such a big boy. At his 4 month check up, he weighed 17 lbs, 1 oz and was 26 inches long....keeping him into the 90s (percentile wise). His noggin was almost off the chart, but I'm not surprise...my head is so huge I can't EVER find a hat that fits me. I mean, really...Simon and I measured our own heads after the appointment, and my head is a whole inch larger than his! It's all our brains - at least that is what I told X when the doctor left the room.

Something Else No One Talks About

While I joke about Xander being my second or third child, the truth of the matter is that he really is our second child.

Simon and I had always planned on getting pregnant fairly soon after getting married. My birth control pills were running out in November, and the practical side of me said, "that sounds like a great time to start trying!"

So when I was late in December, we thought, "Wow, that was fast/easy." Sure enough, I took a home test and it said we were expecting. That was a Thursday. By Sunday, I'd started spotting. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't bleeding excessively nor did I have any cramping. Of course I Googled everything under the sun....which was totally NOT helpful.

I ended up calling my OB and going in for testing. The urine test came back negative, but my blood work showed I was pregnant. So after several trips to the lab to have my blood tested, they decided it was an "unviable pregnancy." I had two options: I could let nature take its course and continue "spotting" for who knows how long, or I could have a DNC. I opted for the DNC. After almost three weeks of spotting and not knowing anything for sure, I was ready for it all to be over.

Of course, after telling a few people here and there, I realized TONS of people go through this. So why did no one ever tell me? Admittedly  on this topic, I can kinda understand. I'm sure most women feel like they don't want to 'burden' anyone with their sad news. But of course, I like to look at things differently, so I decided I was going to share my story with anyone/everyone I thought should know about it....ie, friends who might be working on baby #1 soon.

Why tell everyone, you ask? Well, I just want other women working on Baby #1 to realize they're not alone if what happens to us happens to them. Sometimes it just feels good to know you're not alone...especially for people like me....who aren't normally 'over-share-ers' with personal information. :)

Now I admit that losing a baby in the first week can not feel as terrible as when it happens much later in a pregnancy, and I don't mean to liken myself to that situation. I'm sure women like my sister and Rebecca  (click to read her blog) went through an entirely different range of emotions. But I am quite sure that my nephews, Levi, Owen and 'lil Baby Z #1 are all up in heaven together. I even imagine that my friend Angela is up there snuggling with them every single day, and that makes me smile.